The Defence of the Watcher
from In Defense of Reason, 1987

At times I think I'm a victim of chance;
My blood refuses to flow
And the pressure pounds inside my skull.
I scream and scream aloud
But no-one hears me in the silence
Of the empty night:
Where is my hope
When the legion of honour passes by
And the phantom horesemen ignore my pleas.

My heart to another country,
My life to the dust.
I sit and watch the spiders spinning webs.
Their preys' flesh decaying to earth.
Time flees on, on the wings of an eagle,
Claws clutching at a dying lamb.
I fade way, I fade away.
The lonliness of running
Through all the silhouettes of my desires
Will surely feed the conqueror worm.
In the end.

I try to concentrate on abstract ideas
But the relationships still elude me.
I want to suffer a caring smile,
Weep glass tears on a proffered shoulder.
It is beyond me –
I cannot reach out
For such pleasures lie
At the other end of the abyss.
Darkness of the fire cries to me.
From depths unseen, with choirs comforting,
I take the fall.

I take the fall.